Make your own free website on Tripod.com
Mes Larmes Tombées
tears of an angel | Downloads | Moi.








My Poetry

Prologue:

So this is where my poetry is at. I'm sorry if you don't happen to like it, and if you have to criticize do it so you don't seem like a cold-hearted bastard. I'm not stupid and I know everyone won't like the way I write.

My poetry...a collection that to you may suck but it had spoken to me at one point in time. I thought it was good while I wrote it. ::laughs::

I'll try to get this in chronological order, but I highly doubt that will happen, so bear with the mixed dates. But I believe everything is in fact dated, and if it's not I probably remember exactly where I wrote it and exactly what state of mind I was in.



me.jpg

All of these written November-21-2003

There are no more tries

This is my last goodbye

Again.

So I lay in the bath till all the water drained away

Hoping it would take my problems with it

But they remain like a bad disease

So I lay stripped on my bead

Ive torn my clothes away

But my problems stay

Time stands still

And I blackout again

Fading away from reality

The dream is better this way

Because for the first time in months

I feel lonely again.

 

Im waiting here for you to come along

My princess

My prince

Whichever if you please

You all mean the same to me

I cant tell you apart

Love or Lust

Either of you fill the place

Its nice to hold one of you

If though I realize

Lust will be gone soon

Lust is a one-night stand

If I get to hold on for just one moment

My loneliness might go away

Love is more permanent but I always disappear

Afraid your rigid clasp will hurt me.

I wish I could write love,

I know it so well,

But it always ends up in the trash

All I know is tragedy.

 

Where is this coming from?

Is this jealousy?

I stopped caring what you thought of me

As soon as I died

Everything you felt for me

Was revealed in your eyes

Maybe I am for someone else

Not for you

Can I just forget we ever met?

Erase the good times from my mind?

Think that you were only bad for me

So I dont fall in love again too late.

 

You have the most perfect lips

They curve in all the right ways

And they fit mine like a puzzle piece

I love the feel of them across my skin

All those nerve endings begging to be allowed in

Even when youre just staring into my eyes

I cant help but look at your light crimson lips

Parting smoothly as you soothe me with

The most suave words

Stumbling slowly off your tongue

Falling softly from your lips

And they part to meet mine

Filling the void in space

The void of time

I cant even remember the rest of your face; its all a blur

Just those lips

 

Deciding to peer

Inside my mind

Searching for answers that

Cannot be found

Over the layers of memories

Vastly remembering me

Euphoria grasping your hand

Reading you my life history
Ingenious accounts of love

Never once realizing you have

Gone too far in discovering this individual

 

It takes such a long time

To find your hips

To place my hands upon them

Feel your vulnerability

The bone sticks out

With almost nothing to protect it

You feel so weak

I just want to watch out for you

You seem so under protected

I just want to shield your eyes

I dont want your Iris to find

The destruction the world has done

You seem frail

This world is cold with wars

And hate

I just want to hold it back away from you

Id be devastated for you to discover truth

 

You hand touches my cheek

I feel my face betray me as I open my eyes

To reveal your pale face above mine

I lift my heavy head to caress your mouth

And you vanish while my eyes are closed

Your kiss leaves traces and it lingers for a while

I spend the rest of the day wondering where you went

Because at the lights of day fade away

Youre presence is no longer felt on my face

And youre fading from my mind

The memory of this morning drifts away

My head hits the pillow and at last I remember

It all was just a dream

I fall asleep full of hope that you will visit me again

 

In the beginning

I am everything you wanted me to be

Because I was only myself

I amazed you with my thoughts

I ran you through my memoir

I was looking in the mirror the whole time

Youre eyes were like glass

And they were so pure

I thought that it would last forever

But I had to say goodbye

You gave me too much strength

You gave me too much love

I cant bare it anymore

I want to feel you touch my skin

I want to feel the pressure of you lying on top of me again

Sweet and pure, innocent

Leaning down saying that you won

And kissing me on the cheek

All these recollections

Make me long for you

But its over and done with now

Youre happier without my truthful view

Youre happier without the answers to questions youd pose

That youd be so amazed with

If I was so amazing

Why could you lose me?

In the end

 

I remember you on stage

And leaning down to say you loved me for the first time

You were falling

Falling

Falling for me

I dont understand why

You have the magnetic personality

And after these past two years

Im still captivated by you

I want to figure you out

I want to get through your maze

I wish you were an open manuscript

Oh to take the time to unearth your mystery

Baby, wont you please let me in again?

 

Ive grown up now

Im all woman now

Except for one the one thing you could never get out of me

Im wiser now in the way of the world

As it keeps turning never stopping

I rest at night and dream of utopia

Euphoria that I will never reach

Is it possible to not want anything?

All I want is to be happy

I could strip myself down

To the exposed necessity

Simplistic not boring is all I ask for

Care to be a part of my undemanding world?

Just think if it were only you and I

Nothing tattered

Nothing torn

Just us.

 

I want to feel your fingertips

Caress the convex and concave territories of my back

I want to feel your breath in my hands

I want to look into your alluring eyes

And feel that were the only people this time

Trace your lips with my mild touch

Conjoining in a congenial kiss

Locked forever if time will permit

Trace the curves of my body with your hand, cupping every curvature

Loving my body for everything it is

Grace my forehead as we fall asleep

You head resting on my chest.

We breathe in unison until

Time returns to normal

Forgiving us for being one.

 

Permissible.

What used to be

Ive hidden your photograph

The candid one from the bus

Im sure youve hid the one of me

No longer can those photos see light

No longer can they breathe

They suffocate like our relationship

No longer friends are we

I tried to be your friend

Your embrace I missed too much

I still find myself wanting your touch

To hold your hand and stare into your eyes

To lie next to you

Avoiding the time

Wrestling like children in order to get close

Id let you win so youd pin me

I always got a kiss on the cheek

Forbidden.

 

Take a bath with me

Let the water fill the space between

Soapy bubbles let you gild your hands

All over my body

That is my yearning

I want to hold your hands up to the light

Running my fingers gently down your spine

I want to hold you close to me

Watch the steam coming from your body

I want to lay with you in white suds

Innocence surrounding us

Unwinding with you peacefully

One with the water,

Youre one with me.

 

Caress my convex and concave territories

Ever so lightly

Tenderly suck on my the tips of my fingers

Pose your fingertips in the spaces of mine

Draw them closer to my mouth

So I may savor your unique taste

Take hold of my back and raise me to your face

Kiss my moaning lips

Unfasten your mouth

Encompass our tongues swirling together

You drive me untamed

Releasing a sexuality

Furtive to everyone around

 

Please help me

I want to be me again

But I cant find my way

The path is beaten well

And yet its unseen

Forever wandering until eighteen

Never being able to fully understand

All life brings me

Pushed into this cold cruel world

It all seems so hasty

All this responsibility

I cant take this anymore

As I crash through the floor

I wish I were young again

Maybe Id have listened

Maybe Id be wiser

Right now growing up feels like walking into a fire

Dont hinder on me

 

 

Nice to meet you (Crappy little interlude) 2000

 

Hello, Its nice to finally meet you

Be able to see you, hello

Goodbye I have to go for now

Maybe I can see you sometime

Oh you want to know my name,

But I dont think thats possible anymore.

 

(This to me is about how first impressions can ruin it all. To me when I wrote this I had liked someone from afar, then met them and I didnt like him anymore)
 

12-21-01

 

Are we never  meant to be?

Because you are you and I am me?

Youre to that level I am not

In this web I am caught

A web weve spun since weve met

The answers I have sought out made me see

Were not all that different, we should be.

We need to take things one day at a time,

Would that be such a crime?

Ive waited long, endured the pain

And from all this I have gained,

All that is needed, I know not what to say

Or what to think

Ive done what I can

What happens with us is in your hands

You know what I believe,

We should be us, together, you and me

 

 

1-1-02

 

Its consuming me

Eating me away

I can feel it all slipping away

I cry for no reason

And scream fro dumb things

And hiding in my room isnt a sanctuary, like it is for most

Its where I dwell in sadness

And hope its a hoax

I dont feel real because Im not treated like I am

Everyone tries to make me happy

Why dont they understand?

Its not like I want to be depressed, I didnt ask for it

One day it was there and I thought it was just the blues but now,

Happiness is almost never there.

Yeah I look happy, its just a façade so you leave me alone

So now youve done it and now Im asking for your help because you have it too

Well help each other through this, thats all we can do.

 

 

1-2-02

 

I wish you were here, or I was there

So you could dry my eyes, hold me till I fall asleep

And I will keep you in my thoughts, in my dreams

As the savior you are for me

 

You help me when Im down

Youre always there for me

I hope to pay you back

And be there for you when you lack

The strength to go on

 

You make me laugh and bring me hope

Sure, theres sorrow but its all right because

 

You help me when Im down

Youre always there for me

I hope to pay you back

And be there for you when you lack

The strength to go on

 

You help me when Im down

Youre always there for me

I hope to pay you back

And be there for you when you lack

The strength to go on

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember writing this in Miss Bellemares class after my midterm.

 

Im on the brink of breaking

But I wont break myself down

Ill break all the mirrors I end up looking in

 

I dont have to see that reflection,

Not my peach skin

I dont have to see my nose, my eyes, my lips or chin

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

But I dont need to look at myself to know that I am.

 

Everything ahs a reflection,

Even the shadows on the ground

I feel my own beauty and I look around

I see self-cautious girls

Hide behind the make-up

Excuse me but Id like to see the true you

Id like to see behind the mask and those points of views

 

You shouldnt have to look in the mirror to know what you look like,

Or check if youre really there

You dont need a mirror to be you

Just look at yourself through your eyes,

Not a reflection that can distort the truth.

 

You lost my trust in an instant

With four words

 

You betrayed me with ease

With something I hadnt heard

 

I dont know if I could trust you now

I dont know if we should be friends

 

I cant bear to look your way,

You had to press send

 

Now my friends dry my eyes

They wipe the tears that I have cried

 

I cant believe you lied to me

I hope you see

 

You lost my trust in an instant,

What happened will always be.
 

12-23-01

 

Everything is spinning

When I kiss you

There is nothing missing in the euphoria that I feel

Im in my own world

One I never want to leave

Im lost in a kiss

In total bliss

Then reality pulls me back

Puts me in check

I want to go back,

But I cant just yet.

 

Even a hug sends me spinning

All I can feel is you

Holding me so

I never want to let get

But I have to

 

When Im with you the clocks go crazy

And time is lost

It seems like forever

Time just freezes

And even though it please me

I need more than this

More than just a hug or kiss

I need you by my side

To wipe the tears from my eyes

 

------------More later-----------